Dear Babies,

You are both miserable and sick right now. Katherine, you’re being quite a trooper, but poor Elizabeth got a bit sicker. And I am so angry for you guys. I really hope that either Mom learns to advocate better, or the healthcare system learns to stop brushing people off. Here’s our story from the past few days.

It started with a little cough and a big puke. Poor Elizabeth had her night time bottle on Tuesday last week. She sat up, coughed, and then puked 3 times. Poor baby. Poor daddy! He hates puke, but he loves you and he cleaned you up and we got towels and kept an eye on you. In the middle of that night, you both developed fevers. Kat was 102.4 and Bee was 101.8. I decided to take you in on Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning, we got to the doctor. You both had been given tylenol, so your fevers were down. Doctor checked you for flu (because the flu has been B-A-D this year) and checked your tiny ears. You both had an ear infection in your right ear. Didn’t seem like it was a big one, but enough to get you a round of antibiotics and send you home. I was concerned about Elizabeth because she hadn’t been drinking or eating much since puking and didn’t have a real wet diaper. The doctor wasn’t too concerned. She said we were doing all the right things.

Thursday morning, Kat was trooping right along. Eating, drinking. She did spit up in the middle of the night, and Elizabeth had puked twice but it seemed to be because of her coughing. The concern I had Thursday morning was Elizabeth still hadn’t had a wet diaper. In fact, we were going on 36 hours with no real wet diapers. I called the triage line. We went back and forth for a couple hours. She consulted with physicians, we tried some tricks to get some fluids in her. Early afternoon, she had a mild wet diaper. Wasn’t full, but it was more than it had been. Triage nurse spoke to the doc who said ok, reset your timer.

So Friday morning, you were both feeling just yucky. We decided to take you in again. You both fell asleep early for a nap and the triage nurse we spoke with in the morning said to let you sleep and bring you in when you woke up. While you were napping, we got a text that someone you’d been around the previous weekend had developed RSV. So we said to ourselves, yep we need to bring that up.

Friday, we get to the walk in pediatric urgent care clinic at 2 PM. We get into a room after a bit, it’s not super busy in the lobby so we thought it would go pretty quick. We waited about a half hour to see the doc. So all in all, it was about 15 mins in the lobby, 15 mins with the intake nurse getting weights and symptoms and concerns, and then 30 minute wait for the doc. At 3, the doc comes in, we go over everything, she listens to both of your lungs. She says, well it’s just a virus.
Me: Can we test for RSV because of their exposure?
Doc: No need, because their lungs sound clear. They don’t have it. Would you like to test for it anyway just so you know, even though there’s nothing they can do to help it?
Me: Yes, let’s please test them anyway.
Doc: Ok well in the meantime, keep pushing fluids, and doing tylenol/motrin alternating. Elizabeth though, is started to get dehydrated. We need to get her fluids before she goes downhill.
Me: “Alright, let’s do it!”
Doc: “Welllllll, they couldn’t do fluids in the clinic because there wouldn’t be enough time for our clinic today.”
Me: “Ok sounds good, where then?”
Doc: “When patients need fluids but we are closing, we send them to our regular Urgent Care Clinic [the one for all patients] down the hall.”

Ok! So that was the plan… but the doc never did test them.

We got down to urgent care, got Elizabeth checked in and at 4:30 we got called back. We spoke to the triage nurse about why we were there, that peds sent us there for fluids. She was incredibly short with us and said well the doctor will determine that. I said ok great, anything to make sure she’s taken care of. The nurse went and spoke to the doctor who said he was not going to see her. At this point I was VERY frustrated. As I inquired about why, she avoided my question and said we needed to take her to the ER. I said, is there any way to avoid that because the ER was already an hour and a half wait time projected just to be triaged. If she needed fluids, could the doctor here just see her and then direct admit her? The nurse went to talk to the doctor and came back and said “She’s not sick enough to be admitted. Go to the ER.”

I was positively enraged. I am trying to be an advocate here, as politely as I can be but SURELY this is not the way a 12 month who is clearly sick and has been not able to take in fluids due to loss of appetite and throwing up everything else she does take in should be treated. Alas, we were at an impasse, what were we supposed to do? We got out to the car at 4:45 and I immediately called the pediatric nurse triage line again. I explained what had happened and asked what were we supposed to do and to please help me. She contacted the original doctor who had seen her in peds that morning. That doc decided that Elizabeth did not need to be admitted and that we should go to the ER.

So, we got Katherine and Kevin dropped off at home, packed a bag and headed to the ER. We got to the ER at 6:10. When we checked in, they knew we were coming and the nurse apologized over and over and said the person in their waiting room who had been there the longest had already been waiting 3 and a half hours and the end was not in sight. She said it would at minimum be 4+ hours before we would be seen. I was LIVID. So livid that I burst out crying. I asked her what I was supposed to do and she didn’t have any answers. Her hands were tied, and truly I did understand that. But I am your advocate babies. So I did not settle for that. I called around, I called Children’s hospital in the cities, I called a few other area hospitals. They were all just as busy. Then I finally called the Alexandria hospital. They said, no wait, we will get her in, please drive safe.

So we went to Alexandria. They got us into a room within 6 minutes of our arrival at 8:45 PM. We spent several hours in the ER. At first just trying to see if we could get fluids in her any other way. Got 4 oz in, and she vomited everywhere. Finally the doc gave her a 1 hour bolus of fluids, got her some tylenol, and we were able to head home at 3 AM. Since we were pretty far from home, we stayed with grandma and grandpa near Alexandria. Elizabeth was so miserable that the only way she would sleep was if we cuddled upright in a chair.

When we got up in the morning just a few hours later, she was very lethargic and not herself. I wasn’t sure if this was due to lack of sleep or what, so again, I called nurse triage. She advised I bring Elizabeth to the local Alexandria Clinic for express care (it was Saturday at this point). I brought her in at 10 AM and the poor doctor who attended to us got to hear our whole story, and at the end of my tirade, I simply said “Please help me help her.”

That doctor HEARD me. He ordered labs, and a chest xray. He tested her for both RSV and flu (in case the previous flu test had failed). And then we waited. The doctor’s nurse came in after a few minutes and said her RSV test was showing positive for RSV already even before it was completed. My poor baby. The doctor said, if Elizabeth has it, then Katherine 99% sure does too. But because Katherine was still eating and taking in fluids he was not as concerned. They put an oxygen monitor on Elizabeth and she was only showing 85% oxygen levels. This doctor who I am so thankful for, got us admitted to the Alexandria hospital.

So here we sit at the hospital. Elizabeth’s oxygen levels are still in the 85-90 range. It’s not low enough to be put on supplemental oxygen, but VERY close. She’s being monitored closely and has slept most of the day yesterday, and most of the day today so far, and through the night last night. She is not herself. And I knew this, and tried to advocate for her. It should not have taken 4 failed attempts for someone to hear my cry for help. I’m glad we’re being cared for, but I’m at a loss as to how I could have done better, how the system failed us.

The moral I learned from this is that “Mom Gut” is real. When something is wrong with your child, YOU KNOW. And you don’t stop fighting until they are properly cared for.

Babies, we will always fight for you. Even when we’re fighting WITH you some day (because let’s face it, it will happen), WE ARE ALSO FIGHTING FOR YOU ALWAYS.

Love you monkeys,

Mommy (and Daddy who is at home with Kitty Kat)

PS: They are letting us out of the hospital in a couple of hours. Elizabeth’s O2 sats are much more steady, she is no longer acidotic or in ketosis, and she is taking food. She’s not super interested in liquids yet, but she will take a few ounces at a time, so that’s more than she was doing before! Whew.